Ok.
I am totally new to this motherhood thing. Obviously....and I must admit that it hasn't exactly been coming so naturally to me, which leads me to the point of this post.
Caydence has been super fussy lately, and I don't know why. I'll feed her, burp her, change her bum, rock her, bounce her, talk to her...and if I'm not doing one of those things with her constantly, she starts fussing. I can usually put her in her bouncer for a little bit, and she'll be ok...for a little while...and then it starts. As much as I like to cuddle her, I really can't hold her ALL day long.
Is this normal??? Am I doing something wrong??
It seriously gets exhausting. Being a Mom is super hard. :( I love my little bug, but it gets so tiring trying to keep her happy!
If anyone has any suggestions for my fussy little one, I would SURELY appreciate it. I know sometimes you just have to let them cry it out, but at what point do you let them cry? And for how long?
I feel super retarded posting this but....I just need some advice and words of encouragement...Please.
First off DON'T feel dumb for posting this. I was constantly calling my Mom or the doctor's office asking for advice or help on things. Also it's not you. You are doing everything right. You just need to figure out the little "tricks" that make Caydence happy. Every kid has "tricks" that work, it takes time to figure those out and it's alot of trial and error. Here are some "tricks" that I have learned...
ReplyDeleteTrick #1 - I don't know if your breastfeeding or bottle feeding so this next paragraph might be a waste if your bottle feeding..With my first I was breastfeeding and this didn't come natural. I thought I was feeding her and I wasn't. I was starving her. I didn't have all the milk I should have had. I thought she was just a fussy baby and it wasn't until later that I learned she was literally starving her. She wasn't growing properly. I just watched my cousin go through the same thing. She thought she had plenty but she didn't and the poor baby was fussy because he was so hungry. SO if your breastfeeding just make sure that you do have enough and that she has a full tummy. However when your breastfeeding you can't tell how much their getting...I would try to pump for a session, see how much you get and go from there. If you're low on milk then have her suckle more or pump more. Also make sure your drinking plenty and eating good food. It will take a few days but your milk will come in more. If your bottle feeding then I am sorry for making you read all that :)
Trick #2 - The baby that I watch is a very picky, fussy baby. Whenever she gets in a crying jag, I feed her really well, change her bum and then I wrap her up tight as tight in a blanket. I take her arms straight to her sides or in an x across her chest with her fists at her shoulders and then I swaddle her really tight. This always calms her down and she always takes a good nap this way.
Trick 3 - My babies have always liked baths. I would always feed them really well. Stuff their little belly's and then get them in a warm bath. This always seemed to calm them down and even put them to sleep (most times).
I guess I swear by a full tummy, a warm-hot bath and them being swaddled really tight. It worked for me in most cases and hopefully it helps you.
Crying it out for me was hard at first but then it got easier, I guess I had to get tougher. I'd let them cry it out after I had exhausted everything else. I didn't let them cry it out in the same room as me. That would just frazzle my nerves. I would feed them, love them, swaddle them and then put them in their bed and shut the door. Sometimes they would cry for only a little and other times it was longer. I think one of them cried for a good solid hour and it just killed me but I knew that it was nothing more than them just wanting to be held so I didn't give in. After that, the crying it out got alot shorter. Good luck and don't be afraid to ask for help again :)
Steph, You are doing just fine, I'm sure she does want to be held all the time but it's true you just can't hold her all day long, as much as you would like to. If she is fed and clean and still fussing then she may just have to fuss a little bit. Babies sometimes just cry to hear themselves and that's okay. Steph I'm positive you are doing a great job and being a wonderful mother, yes it is hard but it's the most rewarding thing you'll ever do so don't doubt yourself you're doing great :)
ReplyDeleteDon't feel retarded, every mother on the planet has felt like this at one time. I remember with my first, I thought he would be crying for the rest of his life!
ReplyDeleteDo you have a bouncer seat, or a swing? Those worked wonders for my boys. Or maybe try one of those baby carriers, sling type things. That way you can still hold her, but do other things with your hands.
And. . . I know TV is evil, but Baby Einstein DVDs saved my sanity sometimes.
Do you have any of these? If not I'm sure I do and I'll give them to Catie so you can have them. :)
Good luck. *BIG HUGS* And know that this too will pass (even though it seriously feels like it won't)
When my little boy was a little baby, he constantly had to be swaddled super-tight or he would cry. All.the.time. Seriously. I felt like I was hurting him wrapping him that tight but he just loved it. And it helped him stop crying. Sometimes when he was a fuss-pot and I didn't have the patience or time to rock him all day, I would put on my trusty front baby-carrier and stick him in it. Then I'd do whatever. The dishes, laundry, absolutely nothing.. you get my drift. He felt like he was being held, and I still got things done. Hope one of those will give you a little relief!
ReplyDeleteStef, I totally felt the same way! Jaylie had trouble pooping for the first few months so I had to rub her tummy clockwise when I was nursing her and that helped SO MUCH!! Some babies are just fussy, some just want to be held all the time. You don't have to keep her happy all the time, as long as she is well-nourished and well-loved you are doing it right! It would be abnormal is she wasn't fussy. So just hang in there. My sister-in-law has a wrap that is AMAZING! It doesn't hurt your back, you can put the baby in different positions and keep your hands free. I am definitely going to buy one! They are pricey but well worth it! The website is childrensneeds.com. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteEveryone that commented gave you really good advice. My first thoughts were to make sure she's getting enough while she's nursing and/or swaddling. There's a book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block" that is all about calming fussy babies. I haven't read it but I've heard great things about it. I got it for my little sister and the ideas in it seem to work really well for her baby. And as for some encouragement, just know that everyone feels completely overwhelmed by motherhood. You just don't realize until you actually do it how hard it is! But it gets way better and way easier as time goes by. Just hang in there! P.S. She is so adorable!
ReplyDeleteHey Stef,
ReplyDeleteThe joys of being a mother are great and you will receive many blessings, but the work that comes along is very overwhelming. I was not able to hold babies all the time and therefore they were on a schedule. Your schedule should change as your baby get older, but look up schedules on the internet and try one out. Our day looked like this (at about that age). We woke up around 8am, ate, played(tummy time, tv, books), ate, 10:30am bed, 12:00 eat, play, this continuing through the day until bed time, then bathe, massage,books and songs, feed, swaddle, down. I loved the swaddles and so did the babes. Look loved the swaddle but not around his arms. I put it right under his arm pits. He liked to grab on to the clothe. My babes were on the floor to eat (unless I had help or could do them at seperate times) we played on the floor. I swear by schedules. If she likes the swing, put her in at a certain time of the day. Don't leave her in anything for along period of time because then she will not know what to expect on when she will be able to get out. It is hard to get out on a schedule, but it is a life saver. I talked to a friend who held all the time and she had no schedule. Her baby was in and out of sleep and therefore never really took good naps. Do check to make sure she is getting full while breastfeeding. My little girl would only take 2 oz and I had to supplement the rest in a bottle. Keep up the hard work!! You are doing a great job!! I hope all goes well with all the advice that has been posted! We love ya both!!
BATHS BATHS BATHS....they work like a charm....trust me. No matter what the reason, babies usually calm down when put into a nice warm bath....we used the Johnson and Johnson 'calming' bathtime stuff too, which honestly helped. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all go through this as moms. The most important thing that you can do for Caydence, is for YOU to be healthy (mentally most importantly).....running, taking a little nap when Robby gets home, even going grocery shopping alone....make sure you have time by yourself, it helps so much!
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