What is That Smell?

I just read a post from one of my fellow bloggers, and it reminded me of a story, and something that I have been meaning to gripe about for quite some time.


Farting in Inappropriate Places.

Yeah, I know. Ewww. Grosssss. As I am a part of the female population, I am required to have a strong position against bodily functions. And truthfully, it is a "natural" thing, but it's a gross "natural" thing. We all do IT, and some of us choose to do IT in places that IT should never be done. EVER.

The gym is definitely one of those places. I was at this said place, doing my work out on the elliptical, and there was another female next to me on a stair-stepper. I had forgotten my headphones that day, so I decided to focus instead on a T.V. About 4 minutes into my workout, I heard Thhhhhhht coming from the stair-stepper next to me. That sound is unmistakable. I looked over at my female friend, who was wearing her headphones, and she just kept on going! Word of Caution: Just because you can't hear it, doesn't mean I can't. Fortunately, it was smell-less.

On just about every other occasion that I have been to the gym, I haven't been so lucky. As I am dripping in sweat, sucking in as much air as possible to keep from passing out, someone in my vicinity, let's one fly off the handle. It is always an SBD. {Silent. But. Deadly.} It always smells terrible, and here I am breathing heavily. I always get a lung full, and I always want to barf. It makes me SO mad! I know that for some reason working out seems to push all of that unwanted air down into your gut. But do us all a favor, and HOLD IT! PLEASE! No one, wants to that smell anyway, let alone when their working out.

That's it. Gripe completed.



Since I am on the subject of gross things. My dog did a gross thing this morning, and I'm now seriously contemplating sending him off with the next gypsy I spot, or maybe even a homeless person.

8:50 a.m.-Time to go leave for work.

Can't find my wedding ring. Maybe it's in the computer room. {Which is where Bodie sleeps at night} I open the computer room door, and find myself breathing in the smell of dog poop, smearing it across the floor with the door, and stepping in it.

My response: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! {Robby is still sleeping at this point, so I'm sure he appreciated my response}

Angry? Yes. Word's can't even describe how angry I was.

Late for work? Yes.

Most terrible start to my day of all time? Yes.

If my dog wouldn't have run past me so quickly, I probably could have thrown him against the wall WWE style. But I did manage a good spank on the bum as he ran out of the room, which makes me feel a fraction better. I'm still really mad about it, and I'm not even sure what to do with him. I don't even want to look at him at this point. He is 4 years old!! Potty trained most of his life! WTH????

A few minutes later Robby got out of bed, and said, "What did your dog do this morning."

My response: "HE SH*T ALL OVER THE CARPET!!!”

Sorry. I say swears when I'm really, really, mad. Today was one of those days. And luckily I have a husband that knows me well enough to not question it. :)