My parents separated and then divorced about 5-ish years ago. It's not something that is super recent, but it is something that influences my life on a day to day basis. I don't talk to others outside of my family about it very often, because it is still a very sensitive subject between my parents. They have both moved on and remarried, but sometimes it feels like the wounds are still fresh.
Sometimes I feel like I am the glue that keeps my siblings and I together.
Sometimes I feel that as the middle child, I have a responsibility to keep it together for everyone. I need to be the role model. I need to be the "bigger person". I need to tell so-and-so to get over it and move on. I act sometimes act as a mediator between not only my sisters, but my Mom and Dad.
Family get togethers, such as birthday's and baby blessings, are still awkward. It is hard for everyone to be in the same room together, and not give awkward glances at one another.
In general, and maybe this will take some time, but when it comes to my family I feel very disconnected from them. Like we are all in such different places in our lives.
I'm not sure if that makes any sense at all. But, that's that.
Moving on.
Same for me too... awkwardness
ReplyDeleteAwe Stef. I am so sorry. When all of that was going on, I was practically your neighbor and I didn't do anything! I knew what was going on, and I just didn't know what to say to you. I was worried that I would say the wrong thing. Everytime I saw you at church or at Wal-mart I wanted to give you a hug and make sure you were okay. I have always felt really guilty for not doing it. I am sorry. I really hope things get better. I hope that wounds heal and that the awkwardness can go away. I loved BOTH your Mom & Dad so much. I wish the best for all of you.
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